To trust or not to trust in a relationship — that is the question.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this: you start liking a man…you get that oxytocin flowing through your veins…you can’t stop thinking about him… but can you really trust this feeling? And can you really trust this guy?
If you’re divorced or have recently been cheated on, trust may not come easily. You may have built a wall around your heart that you’re just not sure how to take down…or if you even want to.
I know you want to trust a man and have trust in a relationship. But I absolutely want you to listen to your intuition because it will tell you a lot. These three signs will help you do just that.
P.S. If he’s worth trusting, then he needs to commit to you. Need a little help in that department? Sign up for my Make Him Commit Webinar immediately while there’s still space and you’ll learn how to get him to commit to you!
So you want to know if you can put trust in this relationship. If you can let your guard down and be vulnerable with this man.
Let’s start with the definition of trust:
Trust is consistency over time.
Let that soak in a bit.
Now let’s look at an example. Let’s say you’ve known a guy for two months, and in that time, he’s flaked on you three times.
You cannot trust this man to not flake on you. He’s had a low consistency of trustworthiness over a short period of time.
Now, if you’ve known a guy for two years and he’s only flaked on you twice, you can still probably trust him to follow through with plans he makes with you. He probably just had stuff going on in his life those two times. Overall, he’s had high consistency of trustworthiness over a longer period of time.
You see the difference, right?
Okay, so in this article and video, I’m going to explore this concept of trust in a relationship and give you three key signs to look for as you get to know a man.
What to Look for to Know You Have Trust in a Relationship
I personally don’t think you can have a healthy relationship without trust. It’s the most critical component of a relationship. I’m not saying trust in a relationship is easy. It can be really difficult, especially if you’ve been cheated on or ended a long-term relationship.
If you’ve been deeply hurt in the past, this article is for you. You can learn to trust in a relationship again, and it will take work, but I’m going to help you know when to be vulnerable with the right guy.
1. He’s a Straight Shooter in Most Areas of His Life
If you notice that a guy isn’t afraid to be upfront with people in his life, maybe at work or with his friends, then it’s likely that he will be a straight shooter (honest and open) with you in a relationship.
Alternately, if you notice that he’s uncomfortable or even terrified at the prospect of engaging in real dialogue with someone, or if he has trouble telling someone something that will be difficult to hear (“you’re fired,” for example), it’s going to be hard for you to trust that man.
You can learn a lot from a person if you just pay attention to how he is with other people. Notice how this man treats his friends and family, waiters in restaurants, coworkers…anyone, really. If you get a bad vibe, you probably won’t be able to trust him fully.
2. He’s There for You When You Need Him
Look, I get it: we’re all busy at times — I get busy in my life for sure — but when it comes to being there for your partner when they really, truly need you, that’s when you can really learn to trust some people and not others.
Is he there for you when you really need him the most?
Maybe something bad happened at work…maybe you’re going through challenges with your family…
Is he willing to talk to you and really be there for you emotionally?
If he is…you can start to trust in the relationship and in him.
On the other hand, if, when bad things happen in your life, he completely disappears because he doesn’t like talking about all that “gushy stuff,” then it’s not going to work out with him. Acknowledge this early before you invest any more time in him.
3. He Has Discipline
Being trustworthy — when it comes to not cheating or flirting with another woman when he’s dating you — comes down to discipline. A disciplined man who has committed to you won’t cross that line into doing things that are inappropriate for a man in a relationship.
There’s always going to be temptation at certain times in life — maybe he’s at a party when you’re is out of town and someone starts flirting with him…or a co-worker expresses interest in him. He can either be tempted and act on it or push those people away because he’s in a committed relationship.
An undisciplined man will give in to that temptation, but a disciplined man won’t.
How can you spot a disciplined man? He may work out regularly, eat healthy foods, show up to work on time, basically follow through on commitments. If he’s disciplined in other aspects of his life, chances are he will be disciplined in a relationship too.
There you have it: three signs that you can trust a relationship.
The key to a successful relationship is that once he truly proves himself, you need to actually open up to him, to trust him.
I know it can be hard, based on your past. But while it’s easy to close yourself off from ever truly trusting someone again, I challenge you to be vulnerable with this man, to open up your heart to a new opportunity because if you keep your heart closed off, you will never attract that love that you want.
As part of learning to trust in a relationship, you have to have commitment. In my webinar, I teach you how to make a man miss you and commit to only you. Get your access today!