The Good and the Bad, and the Ugly of Sex on the First Date
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Sex on the first date is still a taboo topic for most of us. Our culture still considers sex to be something that should be happening between people who got to know each other well and fell in love.
However, one other thing is also true – most of us have done it. So, let’s break the taboo and speak about this big shared secret.
This article will discuss the reality of sex on the first date, how it can be a good thing, and why it can be a bad thing.
Today’s world is becoming more and more of a place where people have the liberty of experimenting and testing their boundaries. For some, it means that they can enjoy the perks of sexual liberation. They now can engage in sex on the first date without having to wear a scarlet letter, metaphorically speaking. Some people truly enjoy their sexual freedom and feel like a fish in water.
Unfortunately, sometimes these new liberties aren’t a person’s cup of tea. But, the pressure that media put on developing minds might lead a person to believe that they too would take pleasure in living life of a ‘American Pie’ character. For these individuals, sex on the first date can become a source of self-loathe and a rather traumatizing experience.
When it comes to statistics, somewhere around half of the men say that they had sex on their first date, while only a third of women admitted to the same experience.
Women are expectedly more reluctant to report now waiting at least for their second date to hit the sack. And men could be exaggerating a bit. However, these statistics reveal that having sex with someone you’ve just met isn’t at all rare.
Having sex on the first date doesn’t have to be all bad. That’s why many people are doing it. The reasons are at least twofold. When you look at it from the perspective of sex as such, if you decided to get to it right away, there must have been some serious chemistrygoing on. Therefore, sex could be amazing!
Moreover, when you have sex with someone you’ve just met, counterintuitively, there might be less pressure than if you got to know the person better first. In other words, when you wait to have sex with someone, expectations and pressure build up. This could affect your pleasure and performance.
The other pro of having sex on your first date is – no one says it has to be a one-night-stand. Yes, it has happened before that people have sex on their first date and then spend decades happily married.
The good thing about ditching taboos is that you open path for many good things to happen to you without being imprisoned by prejudice.
Of course, sex on the first date has its bad reputation for a reason. It can be an extremely bad experience. The perils are twofold. It bears physical and psychological risks. The obvious one is the risk of STDs.
You could also get in trouble because you’re letting a perfect stranger into your life, you’re revealing where you live, work, or go to have fun. This could be a dangerous thing to do.
Not every account of sex on the first date is entirely consensual. Even in cases when both agreed to it, there might have been some sort of inequality in making the decision. Which means that the other could be in for a major blow to their self-esteem and self-respect.
There is more than one kind of pressure, including subtle ones, like persuasion or lying, and less subtle ones, such as alcohol or drugs. And even when less eager of the partner caves into the pressure, they might feel remorse the day after and suffer psychological consequences.
Here we return to the statistics. Half of (straight) men are having sex on their first date, while merely third of women does. One doesn’t have to be a mathematician to see something is off here. In other words, women are far cagier when it comes to disclosing this information about themselves. Some will go a long way to conceal they had such an experience.
When people don’t actually marry their date with whom they had sex right away, things might become ugly.
Keeping secrets is never a good idea, and one-night-stands have a way of surfacing when you least need them to.
Which is why you should always be honest about it and stand behind your actions. Especially with your spouse who deserves you to be open and genuine.
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