You Want an Exclusive Relationship and He Doesn’t

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What do you do when you want an exclusive relationship and they don’t? Many women believe their only option is to hang in there until they do. This is not always a wise idea.

The passage of time and the good times you spend together do not guarantee that at any point they will want an exclusive relationship with you. If being exclusive is important to you, and not to them, you are not compatible in a major way. You are not looking for the same kind of relationship right now, and may never be on the same page.

So what should you do if you want an exclusive relationship and they don’t? First, you should have a discussion with them (not just with your friends) and ask them why you are not exclusive, and then listen to their answer. If they say they are not looking for an exclusive relationship right now, ask them if they think they ever will. If they give a vague answer like “maybe some day” then you have a choice to make right there and then.

You have to accept the reality that this person told you how they feel and what they do not want. You can choose to believe their word, or you can believe in the fantasy in your head. That choice, and the responsibility for the outcome, is on you. Don’t blame them if they never have an exclusive relationship with you, blame yourself for taking such a high risk.

You Want an Exclusive Relationship and He Doesn't

You Want an Exclusive Relationship and He Doesn’t

If they tell you the reason they do not want to be exclusive is because they feel it is too soon after their last relationship ended, accept that answer because it is a legit one. You should ask them how long they feel they would need to wait. They don’t have to give you an exact date but at least an idea would be good.

The thing you must remember is that if you are not in an exclusive relationship with someone you should not treat them as though you are. You should not spend all your free time with them. You should not always be available to them whether it is in person or on the phone. You may think that this will win you an exclusive relationship or keep them from seeing other people but this can seriously backfire on you.

Since they are already getting 100% from you, why exactly should they be exclusive with you? What is there to gain? Nothing really, and they get to keep their options open. So until you are exclusive with someone, don’t let them get away with taking up all your time. Leave them something to desire from you, instead of giving them all you have to offer.

If they tell you outright they will never want to be in an exclusive relationship believe them. Then decide if you are willing to throw away your needs and what you really want for someone offers you so little.

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